The Rambling Monkey Musings

Quick Catch Up

2009-01-27T09:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, so, to catch up. A lot has happened in the past few months. I didn’t really want to update on it until I knew more for sure.

So Donovan is back. He moved back on Sunday. I;ve seen him both Sunday and yesterday, it was awesome. I’ve missed him so much, and I am so happy that he is back in the valley. Not only is he back in the valley, but Sarah was able to find a house that is no more than 2 miles from me. Which makes it really easy to split time with Donovan. He is getting so big. He is answering simple questions, and can say multiple words. He can use his own spoon and fork, take off his own shoes… I cannot believe he is almost 2! Well, almost, almost. He is 17 months now. He is so frickin adorable. I love him.

So things are still progressing between me and HER. I have been to see her twice after she came out here. She will be moving here this summer, as soon as school is out. She doesn’t want to leave her students in the middle of the year, and as long as she stays through the end of the school year, she will get paid through the summer. Good deal huh? I’m not going to go into too many specifics, as those of you that I want to know, already do. Let’s just say that things are going ok, they are hard, and every day is struggle due to outside influences and forces, and feelings of guilt and pain. But everyday we make it through, and so things still plod on. Don’t get me wrong, SHE is worth far more than this. I would literally stand before Satan himself and face reconciliation to be with HER. To have her heart. Last night I was writing her, and I wrote a sentence that I think perfectly explains it all…

______, (Still protecting her name) you are My Perfection because in the very depths of my soul, down to the roots of my entire self-being, you are the most breath-takingly beautiful, passionate, kind-hearted, intelligent, wonderful, amazing woman I have ever been in the presence of, and I am completely, totally and absolutely consumed by you.

Ok, so, recap… Donovan is home… YAY. And SHE will be coming home… YAY. And I will have verything I could ever want and more.

He is getting s

New Year!!!!

2009-01-12T09:51:00.003-07:00

Happy New Year to one and all. I hope that everyone has had a good and safe holiday. But now the holidays are over and we must all get back into the grind, and act like another year is just another year. For a lot of us, this past year was a time for change and for some, it was a stagnant year. No matter which end of the spectrum you are on, just remember that its officially a new year, which means there are another 365 days to accomplish all the things you didn’t accomplish last year.

As for me, there are many new changes on the horizon.

First off, mo mac is coming finally coming back to valley. I am so excited. I miss him so much. I cannot wait. He should hopefully be here around the first of February. YAY!!!!

Second, for those of you that have been kept up on things, things with HER are progressing. She is going to be moving here this summer. I am so excited. Never have I felt so strongly for someone. Never have I wanted to marry someone like I do her. Never have I felt such Passion. She is mo grá mo chroí. Mo chuisle. Mo aingeal. Right now, things still have to remain subtle and vague until some things in her life have been taken care of. So stay tuned for further updates, as they are hopefully coming soon.

So, my roommate and best friend, E, has purchased a toy. It’s a 49cc pit bike. 49cc of Fury. So far everyone that has ridden it, has hurt themselves somehow, someway. Whether its being stupid and trying to pull wheelies while popping second gear, or trying to bunny hop a large rock, or just speed demon your way through a wash… something bad is going to happen.

Ok, I know this is short, so I will write more and fill in blanks at a later time.

Donovan...

2008-11-25T13:56:00.004-07:00

Sleep tight this night my little man.
I'll be here when your eyes peer among the light.
I'll hold you tightly as you wrap your arm around my neck.
It's the smile you share and the constant stare.
Sleep tight tonight my little man.
For when you rustle I'll awake.
I'll grab your hand and hold;
I'll cover you up with my warmth and love.
Sleep tight my little man.
As I dream I see you all grown;
Sitting next to a crib repeating to your son,
”Sleep tight this night my little man”.

The story...

2008-11-20T16:25:00.004-07:00

Ok so this is the entry I’ve wanted to post for awhile now, but was unsure if I should and what I should say. There are probably a few of you that are going to be upset if you read this, and for that I am sorry. I’m sorry if you are mad, or sad, or upset with me. I really am. I also know you will probably have a lot of questions. Not to be a dick or anything, but, don’t ask. What I put in this post is all that I want people to know. If it’s not in the post, I don’t want you to know, so don’t ask. Just a fair warning in advance, it is what it is.

Ok so let’s start with a little back story…

The Year…1994. The place is Ramstein, Germany. I am going out with this beautiful girl. We are completely head over heels in love. She is my angel, and I am hers. We save each other from certain self-destruction, and help each other grow more confident and self-assured. There is a deep, intimate bond there that neither of us are really aware of, at this time, nor could we explain it if we were aware of it at this time. Life is wonderful. I’m a senior with high hopes of coming back to the states after graduation and going to college. She is a junior, also with high hopes of coming back to the states after graduation and going to college. I have high hopes of our relationship continuing past high school. As a matter of fact, I am even planning on asking this girl to marry me after we are both out of school. (I know that to some, this may seem like a foolish and silly idea. And that’s ok, it probably is. But I don’t care.)

So anyway, life is good. Very good. My dad, who is retiring from a 20 year career in the Air Force, in June of 94, is planning to follow my step-mom (who is a civilian government employee) around and be a retiree bum. This was supposed to happen AFTER I graduated. Then… the bomb drops. BOOM!!!! My step-mom gets word that she has been re-assigned to a base in England, and she has to go NOW. So my parents, in their infinite wisdom, decide that me and my brother will join her in England and my dad will stay behind until his official retirement. Ok, this is February of my senior year. I graduate in 2 months!!!! My scholarship rides on me being able to finish out the athletic season. How could you tell me to leave now!!?? Leave my school, my friends… HER. My whole life is coming down around me. I have to leave everything I have built my life to be. Everything I have planned it to be. WTF!!!!!???

So, I am able to talk to my school, and they tell me that as long as my GPA doesn’t drop, and I am playing on the Varsity squad at my new school, and I can get on the team immediately after enrolling, they will carry my scholarship. Cool. Got that covered.

I tell my friends. We agree to stay in contact. LOL!!!! Ok, so its been almost 15 years, and I have finally gotten back into contact with those that are important to me. And you guys know who you are. I am only missing one, and I will never stop looking for him. *shaking my fist in the air* I know you’re out there Steve, you damned back-woods hillbilly bastard.

So, that only leaves one other thing to figure out. HER. What do I do with her? Do I ask her to wait for me? To continue on in a relationship carried across the channel? (English Channel people, know your geography) To put her life on hold? Yes. That is what I should do. (And I find out later that had I asked her to wait, she would have gladly done it. As a matter of fact, I now know that she would’ve said Yes, had I asked her to marry me. *shaking head* I am such a fool.) But… is that what I do… No. I go to her, tell her that its time to go our separate ways. I don’t explain that I’m leaving, I don’t explain anything. I just walk away. Why, you might ask? I DON”T KNOW!!!! Cause I’m a complete freakin retard. Because I’m so caught up in my own depression, my own agony, my own selfishness. And… when I tell her, she is very casual about it. Almost callous. She says its ok. That we can still be friends. That she is ok with it. WTF!!! I’m crushed, heart-broken. How could she not care?! How could she be ok with this?! I am in complete agony and she doesn’t even seem to care. I guess that would be another reason I just walked away with no explanation. Little did I know, at that time, what was really going through her mind. I found out later that she was absolutely heart-broken and devastated. But she thought I didn’t want her, and that’s why I was walking away, so she didn’t want to give me the satisfaction of seeing her upset.

So I walk away. I move to England, and she is now a painful memory. I made a decision that I will regret for the rest of my life. A decision that shatters my heart, and makes me incapable of love for years to come.

I tell myself I will never fully love anyone else. And with that comes a lack of trust. So now I am incapable of loving or trusting any other girl completely. I keep my heart locked away, secure and safe. Never again will I allow myself to fall so completely. Never again will a girl have my whole heart. She may get a part of it, but never all of it.

Ok, so let’s now fast forward about 10 years. I’m in Phoenix. I’ve been with a wonderful girl (Sarah) for about 3 years now. Things are good with us. Right now. See, we have this stupid problem. We break up and get back together a lot. We can’t communicate, and it seems that every conversation is a competition. I do love her, but somewhere in the back of my head, there is a voice. A constant, low murmuring of uneasiness. “This won’t last. This isn’t the one. Your heart lies somewhere else.” I try to ignore it, push it away, but I can’t. I’ve never been able to. This is the umpteenth girl I’ve had a relationship with since HER, and I haven’t been completely happy with any of them. There was always the voice. Some of you scoff and say, that’s just a fear of commitment. And to you I say, “Thbbbbbbbbttttt!!!” I know it is not that, but am unwilling to go into further detail right now.

Anyway, back to the story… One of my friends from high school lives in Tucson, and is coming up for a visit. It just so happens that my mom is also in town. We decide to meet for dinner. So me, Sarah, my friend, and her husband, all go out for a nice little dinner date. Everything is going swimmingly, everyone is conversating, laughing, having a good dinner. Then it comes… “So, Randy, did I tell you. I know where SHE is.” (Well, she didn’t say she, she threw out a name, but I am currently still trying to protect HER name.) “I’ve talked to her. She lives in Alabama these days, she’s a teacher, she’s married, got a couple of kids… doing good.” My heart jumps into my throat, and falls through the floor at the same time. My stomach knots up, my chest feels like its gonna explode from my heart beating so fast and hard, and I start to shake a little. All the while, I have to keep my face placid; I have to keep my eyes from betraying my emotions. I mean, my girlfriend and mom are sitting next to me. I can’t show any reaction. So I gather my voice, calm my nerves, and say, “Really? Right on. Good for her.” All I wanted to do was scream. It seriously felt like my body was going to tear itself apart. After all these years, someone I know knows where SHE is, has talked to HER, has seen HER!!!! I know SHE is married with kids, and that crushes me. I know it shouldn’t matter, I mean, I’m in a long-term relationship, we are across the country from each other, its been 10 years, she probably hates me anyway, and of course SHE would be in a relationship.

But it does matter. Somewhere deep within my heart, something stirs; something awakens that has been dormant for years. My soul, which has been complacent in its lonely void, suddenly stirs in anxiousness. Suddenly no longer satisfied to be alone in its empty void. And now, now is when everything goes south. Little did I know that my friend has also told HER that she knows where I am.

Skip ahead a year. A lot has happened, and if you want to know, go back and read my archives… HER and I have been chatting randomly here and there. SHE found me on myspace, and so we started chatting whenever we were both online at the same time. SHE was there when the whole Kim thing happened, and kinda helped me stay sane when I was there. But our conversations were very innocent. Despite what is happening inside me, I keep everything casual and friendly. Don’t let on how my heart is constantly in my throat, how my stomach is in knots, whenever I’m talking to HER. And, well, SHE is married. Off limits. Untouchable… or so I thought.

Skip ahead to August of this year. And the worldly elements around us have “gifted” us with a gentle Indian summer breeze. Hurricane Gustav. So this little breath of the gods has decided that its time to grace the South with its presence. This causes thousands of people to be displaced from their homes… again. This time, one of those people is HER.

They have closed schools and she is chilling out at the in-laws house waiting out the hurricane. We’ve started texting each other. Chatting through our phones. Then we start talking. She has the voice of an angel. The same voice (plus a little southern accent) I have kept locked away in my deepest of memories. A siren’s call. And I’m hooked. I’m lured. I’m trapped… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m working at the mine… I’m not working at the mine. (read previous post). Sarah and I have just had a huge fight. She has decided to go through my emails, and has found some of the stuff HER and I have been writing to each other. Sarah tells me, “Either stop talking to her, or I walk.” Instant fear grips my heart. My son!!!!! She can’t take my son!!!! So I agree. I tell her I will no longer talk to HER. But I can’t help it. We still chat and text and talk whenever we can. I start making sure I delete my emails, change my password, delete our texts from my phone on a hourly basis… blah blah blah…

So, since I’m no longer employed by FMI, Sarah and I decide it would be best to move back to the valley. So I come down by myself. Find a house, find a job, all in one day. Go me!!! Then I go back up to get the rest of the fam. And we all move down. My boy Eric moves in, to help each other out, and everyone is content. Except me.

See, like I said earlier, I’ve known that this relationship would not make it. I’ve known for years. I’ve known with every girl that it wouldn’t last forever. Sarah accused me over and over that I didn’t think she was good enough for me. That may be partially true. Not that she wasn’t good enough. She was great. To be honest, I didn’t deserve her. She put up with a lot. She just wasn’t what my heart and soul were looking for. And now was the time. It was time to stop faking it, time to stop trying to make something work that I’ve known for a long time won’t. Time to stop being a couple just because I’m too afraid to be away from my son. So… we end it. No need to go into details, it’s none of your business. The end result is that Sarah has moved back to Morenci, taken Donovan and gone back to her mom’s.

It is now Halloween weekend. SHE has come to visit. SHE stays with me from Friday till Tuesday. We go to the Grand Canyon, Flagstaff, Sedona, Jerome… you know, the Northern Arizona Tour de Randy. This is the greatest weekend of my life. Everything is perfect.

She steps out of the security gate, more beautiful than I remembered, more beautiful than any of the pictures I’ve seen, and into my arms. We literally stand there, not moving, in the middle of the security gate, just holding each other for probably a good 15 minutes. I am complete again. My heart opens and out pours years of repressed emotions. I almost cry.

So we spend the weekend together. It is the most beautiful, most exciting, most heart-opening, soul-baring weekend of my life. I’m told at one point that this is her “most perfect moment”. And I tell her that the whole weekend is my perfect moment. SHE is my perfect moment. I don’t think more than a couple of minutes go by the entire time that we aren’t touching. Holding hands, hugging, kissing.

Now its Tuesday, time for her to leave. She gets in her rental and tells me, “I promise you. I’m coming back.” My heart and soul are screaming. NO! She can’t leave. After all these years, she can’t come back, then leave. Here is where I insert my deepest gratitude for you Spencer. You may have literally saved my life that day. You have no idea. So anyway, she leaves, with promises of her return, and with promises from me that I shall wait patiently.

SHE is it. SHE is the one. The moment we came together, everything in me screamed that this was it. This is what I have been waiting for. SHE is what I’ve been waiting for. SHE is what my heart and soul have been missing. I love her unlike I have ever loved any woman. I love her fully, and completely. I trust her fully and completely. I am happy… fully and completely.

So now, I know what some of you are thinking. And I know that some of you are shaking your heads at me. I don’t care. I don’t. Sorry to be an asshole, but…

I know I know

2008-11-14T11:00:00.004-07:00

Ok, so I’m tired of trying to make excuses for my lack of blog upkeep. I’m just a lazy bastard. So I know some of you are gonna get online today and say “Hey, look at that, that lazy bastard actually updated his blog again for the first time in months,” and to all of you…Thbbbbbbtttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so since my last blog, a lot has happened. Big shocker there. It seems that there is always a lot to say between blogs. Yes, I know that if I updated more, that I wouldn’t have as much to say, but piss off!!!!!

So let’s see…

Well, Donovan is now 15 months old. He weighs in at about 30lbs, and stands about 30 inches tall. As you can see from the pictures below, he is the cutest, most handsome baby on the planet. And yes, just the thought of him makes me beam with pride. He is walking, running, jumping, dancing, trying to climb. He isn’t talking yet, but making lots of jabber. He can say dada, and nana, and mama (when he wants to). He is eating real food and is off the bottle. He is becoming such a big boy. I am so proud of him.

Ummm, so since the last posting, I’ve changed jobs twice. Yes twice. I know. I’m a loser. So, back in April, Sarah and I decided to have a change in scenery. We knew we didn’t want to raise Donovan here in the valley. So we had the bright idea of moving to Morenci, where Sarah is from. We had the idea that her family could and would help out with Donovan. Help her. You know, I know that some of you have kids out there. Isn’t it nice to have your parents around to help with the kid. You know, watch them for an hour or two, maybe a day, maybe a weekend… Yeah…all of you that have or had that…you suck and I hate you. Yeah, Sarah’s mom is crazy. Like seriously. For reals. Crazy. Psycho… And absolutely no help whatsoever. Now for those of you who don’t know where Morenci is, (which is pretty much everyone outside of Morenci) Morenci is located on the eastern Arizona border up in the mountains. It is a mining town, population like 1300 people. It is actually the US’s largest open pit copper mine. So anyway, it is up in the mountains. So not only were we moving to hill people territory, but also backwoods, mining, hill people. (Banjo playing in background) So anyway, we moved up there and I got a job driving a 360 ton (Empty, 500 ton loaded) dump truck, the size of a 2-story house, for the mine. It was fun. A good change from sitting under the fluorescent bulbs, and recycled air of the office environment. Instead of sitting in a 5x5 cubicle, I was in a 5x5 cab of twin turbo diesel house on wheels. Here is a picture of my truck sitting behind a Ford F-750 diesel maintenance truck.

Unfortunately, one dark night, while driving my truck down a winding, treacherous, steep ramp, I was distracted by a communicae from someone (that story to follow). I was made aware at the same time over the 2-way radio in the cab of my truck, that I needed to make my next left, which was too quickly approaching. As I tried to slow the truck down, and catch the turn without flipping this house over and almost certainly killing myself, the back end of the truck let loose and as I drifted this 500 ton death machine around this hairpin dirt turn, my back tires slid over the edge of the safety berm created to keep vehicles from going over the edge of the road and to their doom. I somehow managed to keep the truck not only out of the trench, but also did, what was later called, by both Mine Safety and my Supervisors, “a miraculous bit of 4-wheel driving to keep the truck from flipping over and killing me”. They say that there is no way I should still be alive and that there is no way I even kept the truck on its wheels. Know what I say… “Thanks E. Thanks for teaching me how to 4-wheel effectively. You evidently saved my life wile trying to show me another way to kill myself out in the desert.” So…anyway, I got fired. You wreck a truck and violate the safety standards set down by MSHA (Mine Safety and Health Administration. Same as OSHA, just for the mines), you are fired. No questions.

So back to Phoenix. See the only way to live in Morenci is to work for the mine. The mine owns the housing and the lands. So after a very stressful conversation, Sarah and I decide to move back to the valley. More opportunities for jobs, more and better housing, and all of our friends are here. And since we got almost no help from her family, there was really no reason to stay. So… back to Phoenix. I come down by myself for a weekend to try to get a job and a place for us to live. Fortunately, the gods were smiling upon me. The first job I interviewed for, I got. The first house I looked at, I got. Both were perfect prime locations, and both ere exactly what I was looking for. Awesome! So, now I got a nice 4 bdrm, 2.5 bath, 2-story house in Gilbert, and a nice Software Consulting cush job with a great company. Everything is looking bright and up.

AND OUT GO THE LIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So… we have moved down. We’ve gotten settled into the new house, Donovan getting used to his room, and finally sleeping through the night again. The job is going good, blah blah blah… but in the back of my mind rears the head of the demon that has been lying dormant. The shadow that has been over my heart for a long time.

“Sarah, I don’t think I’m in love you anymore. To be honest, the only I care about seeing when I get home from work is Donovan. I know this sounds mean, but I just don’t care if you are here or not. I think is over. I think we finally need to end a relationship I think we should of ended years ago. You don’t have to move out, as I have extra rooms, so you can stay as long as you want or need to get on your feet. That way I will still have Donovan. I know this is sudden and I know you weren’t expecting this, but I have known this for a long time, but didn’t want to break up our family. It wasn’t until now I realized we aren’t a family. We are a mom and dad taking care of their son. But not a mom and dad taking care of each other.”

Yeah. That was a very condensed version of the conversation that spanned 2 days, and involved a lot of tears, a lot of discussions, and a lot of re-hashing our 7 year debacle of relationship. I mean, I in no way regret our relationship, or even how long we stayed together. I only regret that we didn’t have the love needed to keep a family together. And luckily, she has a big heart. And BTW, for the record, just so everyone knows, she is a FANTASTIC mom. Seriously, she is an awesome and wonderful mom. Donovan is her entire life. And I will always love her for that. I know that Van will ALWAYS come first. And I am so happy that he has her for a mom. We are still friends and are able to talk and chat. She has decided that she can’t stay here, so she did move back to her mom’s in Morenci. This does suck because, the only thing I wanted was to be able to see my son everyday, and now its been 3 weeks. Now, before I continue, its not her fault that I haven’t seen him. So nobody think anything bad about her. Its just the financial side of trying to drive 4 hours with a baby. Hopefully, I will be able to see him this next weekend, so I’m stoked about that. I miss him so so much. I miss him running up to me and giving me a hug when I get home. I miss him running around yelling da da da da. I miss hearing him grunt in response to our talking. God I miss him.

So other than that, I think you are pretty much caught up now. Now that Sarah has left, I have had my buddy Eric and his brother Evan move in to help with the house. SO I have moved from a family household to a single bachelors’ pad. Too bad I am not much of a bachelor. The house would have some serious potential. As for my bachelorhood, I have left out a very important detail in this story, but you’ll have to wait till my next post for that one. You can actually expect the next post to come later today, or by Monday at the latest.

Peace be with you all

I'm in so much trouble.

2008-03-14T18:25:00.002-07:00

Ok, so I get home today, after a long a grueling day at work, and as I walk through the front door, preparing myself for the inevitable *"Gua Glide", I am unexpectedly meet by a heinous bitch slap! It seems that in my previous post, I may have accidentally gave Donovan's birth weight and time inaccurately. And may the gods forgive me, because Sarah sure didn't. She made sure I was well aware of the fact that she was in labor for 20+ hours, and it wasn't because he was 7 lbs. So let me set everything right. Donovan was born 8/8/07 at 10:20pm., not 8pm. And he was 9lbs. 3ozs. not 7lbs 9ozs. So now that I have made right, maybe I can sleep in my own bed tonight. Wish me luck!

One long year

2008-03-11T15:39:00.005-07:00

WOW.

So it’s been almost a year since my last post. Good thing my blog isn’t alive, or I would’ve killed it months ago due to neglect. But due to popular demand and persistent complaints, I’m back with all the worthy news (in my opinion of course)!!!!

1. Donovan Orion Dunn was born August 8^th 2007 at approx 8pm. He was 7lbs 9 oz. with dark hair and grey eyes. And he was perfect.

2. Got rid of the old beater car and got a Toyota 4Runner (which I love). Can’t wait to get another vehicle so I can turn my Runner into a Desert runner.

3. Got promoted to Supervisor at my job.

4. Mr. Syrmopoulos graduated from Hofstra Law and finally moved back to AZ.

5. Mr. Proffitt made it through another long year at ASU Law.

6. My most hated team in college sports won the damn NCAA Football Championship.

7. The damn Pats lost the damn Super Bowl to the damn Giants. DAMN!!!!!!

8. BUT…the frickin SOX won the frickin World Series! Frick YEAH!!!!!

9. Soon to be ex-President Bush, showed us all how good of a puppet he can be once again.

10. We nominated a WOMAN and a BLACK GUY (or African-American if you prefer) as our Democratic candidates!!!!!! Holy Ceremonial Monkey Feces Capt. America!!!!!!

Alright, that pretty much covers all of the important Mile Stones of the last year that I am aware of or concern myself with. If I’ve forgotten any in my haste, then my bad.

So now to more recent news:

Donovan is now crawling, walking in his walker, and standing on his own. He has cut his first tooth, its right in the middle on the bottom, and is wicked sharp. His hair has turned from dark brown to a light reddish-brown color (just like mine did when I was little), and his eyes have turned to blue with a small brown line around the middle. He is now about 25 inches long and weighs 20+ lbs. Fatso. The kid has legs the size of my forearms, no kidding!!!! I mean, I know I’m no He-Man, but still, he’s like 7 months old! The greatest part of my day is coming home for lunch and coming home at the end of the day and seeing him. Especially the times when he is in his walker, and when I come in the front door, he bee-lines straight to me with arms wide open and a big goofy smile on his face. Awesome.

Ya know, since I haven’t written in like a year, I’m gonna ease into this. So that’s all for, please enjoy the pictures below of the cutest kid on the planet.

And the winner is...?

2007-04-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

So I can't really stay too long, but I just wanted everyone to know that wanted to know. Its a BOY!!!! Its a very definite boy. I'm not gonna embarrass the poor boy by putting up the pics from the ultrasound, but he is very much the little man. So now that we knnow for sure, if anyone has any boy's names they think are nice or unique, please shoot them over to me. We are having the damn-dest time trying to come up with a boy's name. It sucks, we've had a girl's name picked for years, and now that we are actually having a child, its a boy. *Thanks K.* We are looking for any unique names. No Davids or Steves or Michaels or anything, it has to be unique and if I had my choice, it would be Irish.

Anyway, I just wanted to make sure everyone that wanted to know now knows. And I know that I have some Mommas and Pappas on my friend's list on myspace, and those individuals better chime in with their two cents...

Talk to everyone again real soon.

*K=Karma*

And....we're here.

2007-02-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

So we’ve finally moved into our house. We actually moved in a couple of weeks ago. It’s really nice not having other people to have to worry about. It’s just us. No roommates, no other expenses, no playing the bitch part of having to go around and collect money from everybody to pay bills… ahhhh….yes.

It’s a pretty nice place. It’s about 1600 sq ft. 2 bedrooms, 2 bath (perfect for a small family with one child) Its perfect cause right on the other side of our wall is a huge park. Great for the kid and the dog which will come soon enough.

As far as the fam is concerned, things are going well. The mom and the baby are both doin ok, although the pregnancy is kinda rough on momma. Duh. We are working on 4 months now so we should know the sex of the baby on her next appt or two.

So, I’m getting prepared, St. patty’s is right around the corner, so I gotta get my drink on to be ready. I think this year I’m going to see Flogging Molly on St Patty’s with Wulfcry and some other folks. Aught to be a drunken festival!!!!

I was also just informed that I am going to a Seven dust concert in April. Hells yeah!!! One of my work buddies just came in and dropped the ticket off on my desk and said, clear your schedule cause you’re going, no questions. Umm…ok.

Other than that, nothing new to report for now and since I am at work, I should probably cut this one short. The next posting will be back to my normal ramblings.

Let the Greatness flow

2007-02-08T16:51:00.000-07:00

So I know I just put up a post, but that was actually an unplanned posting. I actually logged on to make a new post and found that I had been tagged by Wulfcry to spout off some little known, semi-embarrassing facts about myself.

But now, let the Greatness flow…

So as many of you know, I have two brothers (so to speak) who are in Law School. One of them decided that Az just wasn’t good enough for him so he moved clear around the country to go to some uppity east coast law school. (Just kidding Snuf, congrats again on being able to actually attend an excellent educational establishment such as Hofstra Law.) The other brother is now attending Law school at the Sandra Day O’Conner School of Law here at ASU in the beautiful desert of Arizona. (If you can’t tell, that statement was dripping of sarcasm.)

Snuf has gotten his grades back from his previous semester and received a 3.0. For a lot of people who excel in academics, a 3.0 may not seem that fantastic to mention in a blog. But in Law School, a 3.0 is awesome in my opinion. For the first time since he started at that school, he is not in the bottom 10% of his class. Congrats to you Snuf and I can’t wait till you finally get done out there and come back to enjoy the rest of your life slowly disintegrating under the wonderful tropical desert sun. (Ya know, I wish I could artistically come up with a font that actually drips sarcasm. I’d be rich!!!!!)

And for the grand Hoorah, Wulfcry, my dearest brother, just received his class ranking from ASU. Check this out, he is ranked number 3. Not top 3%, but actually #3. Out of almost 200 law students, he has risen to the rank of top 3 law student on campus. I’ve tried multiple times to get him to blog about it, and brag, but his sense of decency runs too deep. Luck for him my sense of decency is as shallow as the Salt river. HE IS RANKED #3!!!!!!! For those of you who have no idea what that means, it means he can pretty much get any internship in the city he wants. I am so proud of him and proud to be able to call him brother. Not only is he excelling in his law academics despite his eye to brain malfunction, he also juggles having a family of 4. And let me tell you, its not easy raising a pre-adolescent child, and a baby, trying to keep a wife, and study 28 hours a day, and still get some teasing morsel of sleep. Yet somehow this guy does it. Not only can he do it, but he has been doing it for almost 8 years now!!!! Between his first degree in English and now moving towards his second degree for law, he has chosen the two majors that require the most reading and writing possible.

To the both of you, I remove my hat (no laughing or making any jokes about the glare off my head), and bow to you. To those of you out there in academic land, take notes from these two individuals and you just might make it through school without dropping out or having your brain either explode or leak out your ear.

Tag, I'm it.

2007-02-08T15:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I've been neglecting not only my own blog, but also the blogs of those close to me. Shame on this monkey. Shame shame, hang my head in shame. So awhile back I was tagged by Wulfcry to spill some little known facts about myself. I thought long and hard about whether or not to play along, and have finally come to the conclusion that my life is interesting enough to be put on display so here are some facts for ya...

1. I too have a funny shaped head Wulf, so we have something in common there. Mine is due to my unimaginable geniousness (is that even a word... well if it isn't, it is now). About 11 years ago I was working in this office that had low ceilings. We were having some official celebration about something or another and I was standing on my desk. In my infinite wisdom, I jumped up in a weak attempt to look excited and smashed my head on an even lower than normal overhang that somehow or another went completely unnoticed by me. The incident caused me to have a scar and a deep indentation from ear to ear. I gave myself a major concussion and required 70+ stitches. Fun fun.

2. I can't wiggle my pinky toe, (yes I tried and failed miserably... multiple times, and only gave myself foot cramps) but I can dislocate my thumb and lay it over top of the back of my hand behind the knuckle. And can make my fingers look all deformed and discombobulated. Of course, that has caused major arthritis so I try not to do it anymore.

3. I am the oldest sibling, although my brother and sister are both half. My brother and sister came to live with us my Freshman year, but my sister only lived with us one year then moved back to her mother. So... I wasn't forced to wear any crazy clothing, but I did wear this thing when I was younger... About 8. My step-mom made me this Ewok costume for Halloween out of some really furry material. I wore that thing until it literally fell apart around me. My dad has pictures of me walking around their little town with this stupid Ewok costume on in like June of the following year. I loved that outfit. Dammit.

4. Despite my current life of a techie nerd, I was actually an All-American (well, more correctly, All-European) jock. I played Soccer, football, and track, and was the epitome of your high school jock. Then the "Great Catastrophe of 94" came and my dreams of being some superstar athlete disappeared as quickly as the dinosaurs. I turned from your high school jock into a computer nerd almost overnight. Had to find something to occupy my time and computers back then seemed the way to go.

5. While I have been blessed and still have both of my parents alive, I haven't spoken to my father in almost 10 years. Irish pride is a bitch sometimes and when two Irish boys get it into their head that its up to the other person, well... you get the idea. What's even worse, is my dad is a great guy. Its not like he abused me or did me wrong, as a matter of fact, all the angst is over one conversation that took place right after graduation and hasn't been forgotten in over a decade.

6. People always ask me why I chose the monkey since there are no monkeys in Ireland, and so now I'll let the truth be told... I am fucking hairy. I am one of those poor souls whose hair has decided to take the scenic route on its way to my head, and has gotten lost along the way. My hair is almost in a gradient design starting at almost none on top, and works it way down from there. I mean, I have hair on my neck, my shoulders, my back, it completely and quite excessively covers my arms torso and legs. I identify with the monkey and its crazy antics (although poo put is not one of my favored sports). The monkey is one of those creatures that no matter how smart they are, always look like they are as useful as a box of toenails. So that's why I am the way that I am. Ok... I am prepared for any and all ridicule...

The Monkey got Lucky

2007-01-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

So as usual, its been a long time since my last entry. I know, I know... But this time I have an excuse...wait, no I don't. I'm just lazy. Well, at least I have alot of news.

First off, everybody may want to sit down for this, I'm gonna be a daddy...again. I know it comes as a big shock to a lot of you. Especially those of you that know me. I know I've said for years and years that I was done, no more, finito. People would ask me if I wanted kids and I would just laugh and shake my head. But, things change, people realize they're getting older and the desire for a family sets in. As some of you know, my family doesn't really exist. Growing up with divorced military parents, I moved a lot, and I bounced between parents. I've never been close with my extended fam... you know, grandparents, aunts, and the such. Not because I didn't want to, but its kinda hard when your family is spread across the states and you are in Germany. Anyway, everybody is doing great, and healthy, and we are expecting in late July, early August. Of course I'm hoping for a boy, but only because I'm so scared of what the world could do to my baby girl, and what I would do in retribution. The funny thing is though, that we already have a name if its a girl, and have no idea what to name the baby if its a boy. So if anyone has any ideas, please shoot me an email or a comment. As you know, I'm Irish, and Momma is Hispanic, well half anyway. So I'm trying to find a name that would cover both ethnicities.

Second bit o' news is that I'm (well, we) finally moving out of the apartment scene and into a house. I can't believe it. A house. You remember those things. They have multiple rooms, a yard, and no upstairs or downstairs, or side stairs neighbors. Fucking A!!!! Right now, we're waiting for the house to be ready, so we are staying with some of my friends who were gracious and kind enough for us to stay in their den for a couple weeks till the house is done. They have two kids themselves. And strangely enough, I have gotten attached to their baby, who is only 3 months old. He has got to be the second cutest baby in the world. Mine being the cutest of course. But its so weird, cause I'm one of those people that hates other people's kids. But this little guy is awesome. And its not even one of those, he's awesome till he crys then give him back. I love to hold him and comfort him. I can't believe these words are coming out of me. What the hell is going on. I'm not dad material. I'm obnoxious, and spontaneous, and lack responsibility. I am just a kid at heart. But maybe that'll be a good thing. Our hospitable friends have taught me alot about patience and understanding. And the dad has shown me alot about how to be a loving, kind, and playful dad. He too is a kid at heart, who just knows when its time to be an adult and a father, and when its okay to be a kid and have fun.

Third thing is one of the main reasons why a house has become possible. I have a great job. I now work for a private tax and accounting firm. Imagine that. The guy who hates math and actually sucks at it, is working in the tax and accounting industry. What the hell is going on!!?? But its good. The job is great and the people are awesome. Some of them are almost as obnoxious as me, so I fit right in. Of course, it keeps me running cause it is tax season and people are starting to wig out. But it pays really well, and I am already on my way up so...

With all this happening, it has caused me to reflect on my past and think about people I've met over the years. And ya know, I'm getting sentimental. Must be cause I'm getting old. I hear that when you start to age, your mind begins to wander, and well... I had that problem as a youngster, so you could only imagine how bad it is now. Anyway, (see, already rambling and wandering) it also makes me miss some of the people I have left behind in some form or another. I miss my few friends I made in Virginia, you guys rock, and I'm sad that things turned out the way they did. I would've really liked to come back and get to know you guys more. Especially Breezy. You are one cool cat my friend, and we would run rampant on the east coast. Some day you'll have to come back to your Alma Mater and we can tear up campus. Jaimie, you are one of the coolest chicks I have ever met, and I'll never forget the one time we went out and partied in D.C. Maybe you can join Breezey, and we can show you how we do it out here in the desert. Even you Kim, I miss talking to you. How could I not after the conversations we had, and how often we talked before I moved out there. Its too bad things are the way they are, but maybe its for the best. I have no ill will towards you, even though there are a lot of things I know and a lot of things I found out about what you were telling your friends. The things you were telling them hurt more than the actual break-up. But at least I have the experience, and that I'll never forget. And Mr. Bradley, you and I really need to talk and get back in touch. Things can't be left as they were. You were one of the best roommates I ever had, and you were there for me when all my other so called friends turned their backs on me. And to those people, I'll never understand how you could just turn your back after so many years, but that's ok. I don't have to. You have your drugs and alcohol to go home to, and I have a loving family and friends. One day, you'll turn around, and when you do, look me up. I have no regrets and the past is behind us. All you can do is look ahead towards the future and hope its brighter than the dark past.

Ok, things got a little mushy and emotional there, but I'm back now with a few things I gotta say...

GOD DAMN BRONCOS!!!!! How the hell could you lose to the San Fran fucking 40 fucking Whiners!!!!! All we had to do is when the final game of the season and we were in. But no, you had to lose to one of the worst teams in the NFL and let the scum-sucking Chiefs in through the back door. Just for them to lose in the first round. DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!!!!

And to my boys in South Bend... I hate you all. Two years in a row and we lose our bowl game. Why go through all the trouble of making it to one of the largest bowl games there are in two consecutive seasons, and get whupped both times!!!!! Absolutely ridiculous!!! Damn our Irish luck. But I do gotta give it to my man, and head coach, Charlie. You have done great and fantastic things with that team, and have totally turned the team around after that sorry excuse of a coach Willingham almost buried our team in inadequacy. Oh, by the way... I don't hate you. But dammit, win a damn bowl game already.

Alright, that's enough for now. I will make a serious effort to keep my blog updated from now on, but I make no promises. To those of you who have been patient, thank you and may your words live on forever.

One last thing, to all my fam living in the lower central midwest area, I know its colder than a penguin's third nipple, but keep your head up (literally or you may suffocate under the snow) cause spring is around the corner.

Salute

The Return of the Rambling Monkey pt.2

2006-09-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, so like I said, Virginia was cool. Quite the nifty place to visit. I also hung out quite a bit in D.C. as well. It was cool to be able to see the monuments and sites that you normally only read about or see on TV. Unfortunately, I was only able to get a few good pictures of any monuments though. It seemed that every time I was in D.C. it was after dark. I was gonna spend a whole day there just site-seeing and being the tourist, but unfortunately, my “guide” didn’t seem too interested in taking me around the city. So I never got the chance. But here is what I do have:

THE WHITE HOUSE
THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT
THE CAPITAL BUILDING
THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL
THE SMITHSONIAN
THE ARCHIVES BUILDING

Well, besides the fact that I miss Killian and wish I could’ve brought him with me, I can’t really think of anything else of consequence that relates to my “trip” to Virginia so I think that’s all for now about that.

Now for the up to date information…

I already said I was back in my old place with my roommate. That part is way cool. It sucks though cause my room mate also happens to be a very good friend of mine and we used to hang out all the time. But since I’ve been gone, he got a new job that has him working nights, so I never see him now that I’m back.

Work is going good. I work for a great small company and I love all my co-workers. The job itself is relatively easy and the pay is nice. Could be better, but it could be a lot worse. Everyone was excited to see me back and made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

I am so close to having my license back too. For those of you who don’t know the past me, I used to street race, and have had my license suspended for illegal racing and excessive speed. Only a couple thousand more dollars though and I’ll be back on the road, terrorizing the old and habitually slow.

The best thing that has happened to me though, is that the gods have finally brought back football. Oh how I’ve missed it. My heart just feels empty and hollow during the off-season. To pass the time between games, I have taken up mountain biking. I normally ride with a couple guys from work. Now we aren’t talking just running around some desert trails or anything, I mean real uphill battling, downhill flying, gut-wrenching ruts, silt filled washes, invisible jumps, and heart-stopping drops, attacking cacti, and grabby trees type of mountain biking.

NO, THIS PIC HAS NOT BEEN PHOTOSHOPPED. YES, THE TREE IS STANDING UP.

NO, I DIDN'T BITE IT ON MY WAY DOWN

YES, I ATE GROUND ON THIS ONE AND ALSO TOTALLED A BIKE...HENCE MY NEW BIKE

I love it! Not only am I getting out and getting some exercise, but it also gives me a great way to release any stress and pent up frustrations without purposefully doing myself any bodily harm. (I learned my lesson the last time… read previous posts for more info) I will post pics of some of our rides soon. Here is a picture of my bike. It’s made by a company called Yeti. I want to also get another bike for street touring, but I think that’ll have to wait for awhile.

Now…back to football…
YAAAY!!!! FOOTBALL!!! HELLS YEAH!!!!! WOOOOO WHOOOO!!!
I know that some of you don’t get it. You just don’t see the attraction that most of us men (and even a few women out there) have with the sport of football. No, the football lifestyle. You will never understand the obsession and wanton desire to watch and hear and play football. And you know what, that’s ok. You don’t have to. Just means more for me.

Now with the football season also comes the return of the black hole of time and attention… Fantasy Football. I currently belong to 7 different leagues as well as two different football pools. Yes I admit it, I’m a stat whore. I love stats. Now, while I do have 7 teams, I have one that I consider my favorite. It just so happens that this league is commissioned by a friend who is currently away at law school. Everyone in the league is a current or previous law student, so I feel special for being invited into the league. I am gonna close this post with my roster for that league. (Got the idea from my friend who also has posted his roster on his blog)

STARTING:
QB: Donovan McNabb
RB: Rudi Johnson
RB: Clinton Portis
WR: Anquan Boldin
WR: Heinz Ward
WR: Deion Branch
TE: Vernon Davis
W/R: Brandon Lloyd
W/T: Heath Miller
K: Shayne Graham
DEF: Pittsburgh
DEF: Cincinnati

BENCH:
QB: (Big) Ben Roethlisberger
RB: Tatum Bell
RB: Lawrence Maroney
RB: Lamont Jordan
WR: Ashley Lelie
WR: Matt Jones
WR: Sammy Parker
WR: Jerricho Cotchery
K: Jeff Wilkins
DEF: Denver

The Return of the Rambling Monkey

2006-09-21T07:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, so due to some very incessant people, I have decided to revive this poor little blog of mine. I know, I know, I know, where’ve I been, what’s been going on, what the hell is happening? To those of you who feel I have been shirking and are feeling a little out of the loop, I do humbly apologize. This has been a trying and soul-wrenching time for me. A lot has happened since you guys read about my so-called Father’s Day. Let’s see, where to start…

Well, I am now back in Az. I have been back since around the beginning of Aug. There really is no need to delve too deep into why I am back, let’s just say… I’m back. Those of you who care actually already know why I am back here, so its not necessary to write about.

To be honest though, its kinda nice being back. At least I was able to get out of the desolate desert for a short time and get away from the heat. Virginia was very beautiful. Very green and very wet. It was rainy and muggy almost the entire time I was there. Big difference from the brick-oven heat of the valley. Check out these pics of what it looks like where I was:

I definitely had a lot of fun while I was there. Despite the unhappiness and uncomfortable situation at my then home, I still enjoyed the people and the experience. I was able to go see a couple of baseball games and was able to see the storied and historical Camden Yards. Absolutely beautiful (even if its only half the size of Chase Field).

And what makes watching the Nationals (who are one of my favorite baseball teams only cause they are in our nation's capital and I think that "America's Favorite Pasttime" should have a team in our capital) even better was that I was able to watch my one of my favorite players, Alfonso Soriano, hit a homerun on his way to another 40-40 year,(40 homeruns and 40 stolen bases, for you non-baseball people) and watch as he robbed a player of their homerun. Getting it done on both sides. Hells yeah.

Now, there are a couple of things I learned while I was there that I want to share with all of you.

1. Did you know that fireflies actually come in different colors? I mean, damn! I’ve always known what a firefly (or lightning bug, whatever you want to call them) was, but I never knew that they are like a box of crayons. I saw green ones, blue ones, purple ones, yellow ones, orange ones, red ones… it was crazy!
2. Did you know that when you hit a firefly with your car windshield while it’s glowing, the bio-luminescent chemical they have will actually stick to your window and continue to glow?
3. Did you know that there are these crickets, that’s right, I said crickets, that look like spiders. The weirdest thing I have ever seen. It’s a cricket with weird spider legs. They look scary. I’ve never been afraid of crickets or anything but these things are creepy. After a bit a research I found out they are called Camel Crickets or Cave Crickets. Here’s some pics of one so you can see what I’m talking about. Freakiest crickets you will ever see...

Ok, just so nobody gets eye strain, and I don't go crosseyed, I’m gonna end this post now and continue rehashing my recent past in the next one. So whenever you are ready, I will hopefully be done and you can continue to read on.

Happy Father's Day to me!

2006-06-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

So those of you that know me, know I love dogs. Well, me and my girl went to the shelter yesterday and got one. He's absolutely the best dog ever. Already housebroken (big plus), gets along with other dogs, can already sit and lay down, and sleeps through the night. Amazing huh!? He is a German Shepard mix. They say boxer, but with the tail and undercoat, I just don't see it. What do you think? Anyway, here he is in all his largeness.

He is about to my hip at the head, and probably weighs between 75-100lbs. Heeheee, big puppy, and he's only a year and three months old.... the cutest dog ever. He's name is Killian, due to his reddish color and our (my girl's and mine) fondness for Killian's Irish Red.

Don't let this picture fool you, he is far from skinny. He is a beast of a dog that can yank me off my feet if he wanted to. But I love him so much, he is so cute. YAY!!!!!!!

Birthday Wishes

2006-06-16T15:01:00.000-07:00

I want to also send out a huge birthday wish to my mentor and best friend. Happy Birthday Wulf Cry. And its Father's Day on your birthday, how kewl is that!!?? That can't happen too often. I love you and miss you terribly buddy.

Quick Congrats

2006-06-16T14:50:00.000-07:00

I want to send out a quick congrats to Syrmo for his one year blog anniversay, and for his acceptance into the Prosecutor Class. I'm very proud fo you my friend and will see you in the fall. FOOTBALL here we come.

Livin la vida Vegas...I mean Virginia

2006-06-16T13:52:00.000-07:00

So I know it’s been awhile since my last post and alot of things have changed. That's actually why it’s been so long since my last post. So here is a brief recap of what has transpired since...

As you know, I went to Vegas. So Wednesday night, I get the airport way early to make sure I get my boarding pass, get my bags checked, (Pretty much my whole life in 2 suitcases, sad huh?), get through security, and to my terminal on time. To my surprise, that whole endeavor only took like 15 minutes. The problem with that is that I got there almost 2.5 hours early. So... off to the bar. $100 later I stumble out the bar and to my terminal and board the plane. My stomach is flipping with anxiety, but well, I can't tell (even in the airport $100 in beer and shots can get you pretty tipsy). By the time I had landed (a whole 45 minutes or so later) the alcohol had already worn off due to those anxieties. Come to find out, the girl missed her connecting flight in Denver so after I land, I have to wait another 2 hours for her to land. So...back to the bar!!!! So after another $100 in beer and shots (just so you know, at the airport, you order a beer, and they give you shots for $2. Wheeeee!!!! for Jager and Glenfiddich Whiskey) its time to meet her. And she is everything I was expecting and more. So beautiful. An angel among men. (Sorry sweetheart, no blushing.) I also was able to meet two of her close friends, since her flight was delayed we all were there at the same time. That helped the nerves. (pbpbpbpbpbbp) And it was off to the hotel.

The sad thing is, I was so excited, I don't even think of the people and friends I was leaving behind (although truth be told, I thought I would be home on Sunday). I could only think of the one person I was meeting in Vegas. But for those of you in Phoenix, just know you are missed dearly. Especially the two people who I have known and been close to over the last 5 years (Syrmo you don't count, cause you don't really reside there, but I do miss you dearly to and will see you in the fall.)

So we check in and go to our room and guess what.... mirrors on the ceiling!!!! LOL, frickin mirrors. And they tried to make it look nicer by separating every piece of mirror with wood trim, but come on... mirrors on the ceiling!!!! While some of you have really dirty minds, let me tell you, mirrors on the ceiling are scary first thing in the morning. Waking up and see yourself looking at yourself is spooky. Bout gave myself a heart attack. (And at my ripe old age, that's not a good thing.) We spent the first day at the pool at the hotel (for those of you who know Vegas, we stayed at the Tropicana). Now, I'm from Phoenix, spend days and days in the gods forsaken desert and the blistering heat with no sunscreen, but after only a couple of hours at the pool, I was burnt. I mean burnt!!! My shins actually blistered and are still to this day as red as a boiled lobster. Stupid sun. Skipping all the "additional details", we also spent time in the casinos. I was happy with my $50 bucks in winnings, until the girl decided to win $1250. Made my win seem so little and pathetic. hehe.

So the reunion came, and I saw a couple of folks I hadn't seen in over a decade, and some others I had never seen at all. Amazing how so many people could've gone to the same school as me, even during the same years, and we never knew each other. We even knew some of the same people, just not each other. They had their reunion at the Hofbrauhaus there in Vegas. It was nice. Got to eat some German food and drink some dunkel (German for dark beer). Its funny how the just like in the movies, the same clic of people from high school hung out together at the reunion. So I met alot of the girl's high school friends and got along with pretty much all of them. (On a side note, one of her friends has the same name as me, and that made things a little confusing sometimes. Somebody would say, "Remember when Randy..." and I'd be like, "Ummm, no. I don't. Oh wait, not me. Duh!!")

The after party was really fun. We went to Studio 54. It was a blast. We all got hammered and danced the night away. And some of us seem to think that "Dancing makes me sober." lol. Until we leave then it was, "The air makes me drunk." lmao!!! It was fantastic. If you've never been to Vegas, I highly recommend it. Just make sure you have enough money to do the things you want. Someone decided to drop like 2 bills to get us into Studio 54. As well as gambling money and money for drinks. So, that was Vegas. I'm sorry I have no pics, but I will try to get some from the girl and put them up. (Or you can just read her blog and see the pics).

And now came Sunday morning (and remember, I thought I was still going back to Phoenix, since the girl had yet to say otherwise) and really the only answer I needed was the one I got which was, "What time does your flight leave?" That question will stick in my head forever now. My entire insides went to jelly and I was almost speechless. I quickly blurted out the time and said we had better get ready and get going so I could make my flight.

So to make this story shorter, let's just say, my flight was delayed due to mechanical problems (just what you want to hear when you are the plane right) and almost everyone had a connecting flight where we were going. Talk about a pissy individual!!! I was ready to take someone's head. There was no way I was gonna be stuck in Pittsburg over night. So I prayed to the gods to make my connecting flight wait. And guess what...IT DID!!!! It waited for 45 minutes!! Thanks and praises to the gods.

So, here I am in Virginia. And it is absolutely beautiful. You know what they have here? GRASS. Green, green, lush grass. And Trees!!! They have real trees here. Amazing. I forgot how beautiful the real world is. And we are like 30-45 minutes outside D.C. so there is so much to see and do here. And you can go out in the day time and not feel like your skin is quietly baking. It has been almost a week now and I know this was so the right decision. It took this whole week, but I finally have gotten employed. And its my dream job... Web and E-commerce designer. So much fun!!!

Anyway, that should've pretty caught everyone up on the broad details of my last couple weeks. Those few special individuals can email me with any more detailed questions if you like, or catch me on IM, and I'll answer almost anything else you want to know. But its Friday and I the girl is on her way home, so I should get out of these work clothes and into my Friday night wardrobe, so until later....

P.S....

2006-06-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

A quick P.S. to those of you here in Az (especially to the one I call Mentor)…

You know our friend, and how strong he is. For him to publicly state his sadness is something rare. Please do whatever you can to see him while he is back here and support him while he is away from his family back east. This summer is going to extremely hard for him and he needs to know that there are people who are here for him should he need the support.

Thank you.

To Mr. Snuff

2006-06-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

This is just a quick note to give everyone a heads up. One of my best friends in the whole world is really having a hard time right now with the impending fading of his grandmother. Now if you knew this man like I do, and some of you others do, you know that this is a man who believes in nothing, and yet is stronger in conviction and heart that pretty much everyone else I know. To read his blog and hear him say he is on the verge of tears… well, this monkey is tearing up right now. For those of you that know him, please send your regards and wishes and let him know that you are there for him. Let him know, that even though sometimes life does end, too early for some, there is still life out there for the rest of us. Let him know its worth it; that there is still happiness left in this world. For those of us that lucky enough to call him friend, please let him know you are here to support him and his family in any way that you can. I’m logging off now cause he just IM’d me, and I want to talk as I now have tears streaming down my fuzzy little cheeks. To all of you… Life is short and we only get one shot at it so live it to its fullest and always let your loved ones know what they mean to you.

A small apology

2006-05-28T15:06:00.000-07:00

Ok so, this is just a quick note to say WOW, was I runk last night. Runk is when you are so drunk that you can't say your Ds. I was just going to abridge last night's (this morning's...however you want to look at it) post, but after reading it again it cracked me up so I'm leaving it. Sometimes I use the weirdest analogies. But I do want to apologize if it just doesn’t make any sense. It does to me, and really…that’s all that mattrs isn’t it.

So it is now down to 10 days and 3 hours till I am at the airport standing in my terminal, waiting to leave this place. YAAAYYYY!!!!! I can’t wait. Seriously, I am so excited. I love change. Any change will do whether it be a change in food choices, a change of clothes, a new soft drink or beverage, new hair styles (wait….I guess that requires hair… heheehe So I’ve thought of going to one of those really high priced beauty salons and telling them I’m looking for a change and what can they do for me. I think it would be hysterical the looks on their faces when they try to come up with some polite and proper way to tell me I don’t have enough hair to cover a baby’s head, much less to “style differently”. I still might have to do that before I leave.). I love change. Especially life change. Its so refreshing and you get such a feeling of freedom when you make a change that affects your entire way of living. Aaaahhhhhhh!!!!!

So anyway, say hello to my traveling companion.

He’s Name is Lucky, and he has been flying all across the globe with me since like 1990. Nothing has ever gone wrong when I travel as long as he’s been with me. And I’ve been everywhere. Ok not everywhere, but still, but I would say he has traveled to more places than most everybody that this blog combined. (Gotta love growing up and being in the military).

So again, I am sorry to those that read the previous blog and are sitting there scratching their heads asking themselves what the hell I’m talking about. I will try to refrain from writing anymore while I am so utterly intoxicated. Stupid Jagermeister… Captain Morgan… Jameson’s… Smirnoff… Jack… and that damned Saki. That was just too many bottles of alcohol for 4 people. Shame on us. (Just to let you know it was for my friend’s birthday, so everybody say Happy Birthday to Kitty.) One of our compatriots is actually still passed out. We finally stopped drinking at like 6 this morning just cause the sun was up and we figured we should call it a night…morning…whatever. Hey that reminds me of a comedy skit by this comedian named Larry Miller, called the “5 stages of Drinking, 6 if you live in a Trailer park”. I will leave you with this… 5 Stages of Drinking … Check it out and have a great rest of your Holiday weekend, my gentle people.

Here's a couple of rambles I wrote

2006-05-21T15:46:00.000-07:00

On the fateful day

The eagles flew away

I said goodbye, to my sanity

From that moment on

I knew all hope was gone

Nothing would be right

Nothing could be true

The day the eagles flew away

Day by day

We try to cope

Without light, without hope

The fateful day

The eagles flew away

____________________________________________________________________

The blood red sun

Sets over the dry desolate floor

As the ghostly pale moon

Takes its place among the dark heavens

The shadows dance

Trapped in the struggle

The infinite day and night

Night and day

Never allowed to live

Never allowed to die

Stuck for all eternity

In the ethereal nothingness

Of the permanent dusk

POOP!!!!!!

2006-05-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

So, I read this blog the other day, and this chick was talking about poop. First off any chick that can talk about poop without getting embarrassed is one cool chica. And then write about it... even better. Why is that girls seem to think that guys don't know what there doing in the bathroom? I mean, there are only so many things you can do in there by yourself. Now granted, one of those things is kinda hot and sexy... and no, I'm not talking about the poop. Although some of you out here who are fecalphiliacs may find that sexy too. Gross bastards. Anyway, girls, we know what happens in there. Its nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, I mean, its not like we sit there and think, ewwwww, she's doing some nasty waste relieval. I mean, granted we don't want to see it, but that's because hello, sometimes some of us like to eat out there. And we don't want to think about things like that. Kinda gross to think about, but hey some of you girls "lick the lollipop", and I'm sure you don't like to think about what else comes from there. So girls, relax, real men don't care that you are actually human and have to use the water closet sometimes. Sorry, bathroom for those of you who are unfamiliar with the European word for restroom. Anyway, the real reason for this post was to let everyone know, as if they already didn't, that I now only have 18 days, 4 hours, and 22 minutes left in this, as I continually it, "gods-forsaken wasteland" of a state. That's right all my gentlepeople, only 10 more working days till freedom from this prison.

Speaking of prisons, on a quick side note, did you know that Maricopa County (the county in which Phoenix resides) is the only place in the world with a female chain-gang. Give it up to Sheriff Arapaio. *no clapping or I will have your balls or ovaries, whichever best suits you* We are also one of the only places in the U.S. that has an outside prison. You heard me, outside. In tents. In the 120+ degree days. Doesn't that sound fun! And you even get the luxury of a fabulous dinner served free everyday. Green bologna, stale bread, and some mysterious substance that you are supposed to drink (at least I hope that's what we were supposed to do with it). And check this out, this lovely five-star resort also comes complete with free pets. Yep, you heard me, you can own your very own cuddly Brown Recluse spider, or even your own happy, excitable Bark Scorpion (one of the only deadly {to humans} scorpions in the world, and the only one in the US). Why wouldn't you want to live there? You got the sun, the open sky, the wonderful smell of hundreds of unwashed, unshowered crack-heads and alcoholics, all sweating out their particular intoxicants, and a gourmet meal. Paradise....

Oh, one more thing... To all you Suns fans out there, don't let your hopes rise to high, you are still not making it to the Finals. And to you Mavs fans out there, how do you let the Spurs come back from a 3-1 deficit to tie the series and you were at home!!?? Now you have to face the Spurs at home in game 7. Poor, poor Mavs. Its was a good run. Now don't get me wrong, I hate any team that has to do with Texas (being the Colorado fan that I am), but since my Nuggets are out, again, I have to talk shit to all of you who still have a team in the playoffs. And to keep you up to speed, the girl I bet on the Spurs/Mavs game, went double or nothing with me, so we are now even, after I lost the game on Monday. Silly me though, I really thought the Mavs would take the series at home, so I didn't bet on Friday's game. DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!!!!!! That's okay though, I'll save all my luck for VEGAS, and the blackjack tables. Mmmmmmm.... blackjack.

Dammit Stupid Spurs

2006-05-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I just lost a bet on a team that I don't even like. And then that stupid team lost. First of all I hate the stupid Spurs, but if they are playing Dallas, then I gotta root for them. Now here's the worst part. I lost the bet to a girl. A freakin girl!!!! Fortunately she showed pity on me and allowed for a double or nothing when the Spurs go home. See they are now down 3-1, with their back against the wall. So of course I gotta take it. Silly girl... Now of course, that comment there is gonna get me in trouble since this isn't just any girl. This is THE GIRL. Remember, the OMG she likes football girl? Yeah, her. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. My only saving grace came from an earlier conversation in which she disagreed that Steve Kerr was one of the best 3pt shooters in the history of the NBA. Well, me being the stubborn ass that I am, I had to prove my point. So I looked it up on a basketball records website. And guess what... Steve Kerr is the NBA's leading 3pt% shooter since 1980. He actually leads the NBA as well as the ABA. That's right. Steve Kerr of the almighty, awesome, untouchable, 90's Chicago Bulls is the best 3pt shooter in the history of the NBA. Not Steve Nash, Not Mark Price, Not John Stockton... Steve Kerr. By far. Too bad for me, as I was so gently reminded, I didn't actually bet that. Just argued the point. Again, dammit, dammit, dammit.

So, to anyone who says that Steve Kerr did not make an impact on the 90's Bulls team, here's to you... THBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

Congrats to Wulf Cry

2006-05-15T16:59:00.000-07:00

1st and foremost, a huge congratulations to Wulf Cry. He has just found out that he is to become a father of a boy. He is looking for good boy's names. Please do what you can to send him any good boy's names you might have or know. Please do not send any thing vulgar or stupid. This is a great moment in the lives of a great family, and they don't deserve stupidity. but if you have any serious thoughts, please forward them to myself or to Wulf Cry.

General Rambling

2006-05-13T21:48:00.000-07:00

Well, its the first part of May here, in this proverbial paradise, and we have already hit triple digits, for two days, in the weather column. So for those of you who know me, you know that I'm not a warm weather person. I hate the heat. Now I know some of you are thinking to yourself, "Fuck off Monkey, its raining and 60 degrees here, and I'm miserable. And there you are complaining about it being warm." Well to you people I say, "Stick your head in an oven, preheated of course, and leave it there for say 30-45 minutes. And then come back and tell me which you'd rather have. The refreshing beauty and cleansingness of the rain, or the unbearable feel of your skin literally be melted from your face." Those of you who are acquainted with the Arizona sun will most likely agree with me. While some you out there find the weather pleasant, I, on the other hand, absolutely do not. I abhor the heat. "Well at least its a dry heat. I remember when I lived back east and the humidity was horrible. You can go outside with soap and take a shower just because of the humidity. "Ya know, if one more person tells me that, I think I will go medieval on that ass. People who bitch about the humidity need to be shot! Right in the fucking face. I would much rather go outside and be a little moist than to step outside and bake myself. Hence one of my main reasons for moving out of this uninhabitable wasteland of a city. People always bitch that since I complain so much I should just shut the hell up and move. So guess what...I'm moving (as you already know). What you don't know is when...

Most of you know I am an extremely adaptable (unless it has to deal with the heat), and relatively spontaneous individual. To prove this, I am picking up and moving a month and a half almost two months before my originally planned departure. While this may come as a shock to some of you, but I have decided that the timing is better this way. Not only is it better for me, but also for every "one" else involved (at least according to them). I know it seems sudden, but its a long decision in the making. And I finally have the means to do so, so I am. And then there's the bonus of her as well. I won't dewll on her so as not to turn this into some sappy love blog that none of you really want to read. You already know what you need to know about her, and if you don't read the previous blog and then you will.

I've had a couple of people send me messages stating that parts of my last post was cryptic. Well, due to the nature of the specifics, I had to keep things on a light note so as not to ruin the reminiscent aspect. Sorry to those of you that were looking for more than that. (This is not meant for you my mentor.)

Well, its like 115am and I haven't gotten to the point of this blog so I think I'll cut my losses, stop rambling and try to retry this tomorrow. Sorry for the ramble, but as my handle suggests...

The Monkey Saga (part 2) (Abridged)

2006-05-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

And now...the rest of the story.

So, you now know I have a new job, and am hopefully working on a new girl. But before I get into her (wow that sounds dirty) let's talk about some other things first. First, I have separated from my girlfriend of 4 years, and have moved out of my place. I tell you what, I didn't know or realize how miserable I was until I was gone from her. I know that sounds mean, but I think we just grew apart and neither of us wanted to accept that. I know she still loves me, but I think that's because I'm the first relationship she ever had that had any sustenance. I was her first "true" love. That doesn't say much since she was 18 when I met her. But just because I was the first, doesn't mean I should be the last. And I don't want to be the last. She is a good person with a big heart, but she just isn't for me. We want completely different things in our life.

So to tie in with this is my next segment... I have broken my left hand in 3 places. That was due to my lack of temper control during our break up conversation. Nobody could piss me off like she could. Just hearing her voice would set me to annoyed right off the bat, and it would just get worse from there. And since I can't and won't hit a girl, or else I'd just have to shoot myself in the face, (taught and drilled into me as a child. "You worship women, little one. You treat them as goddesses and praise them for their beauty. You respect and love them. You show them what it means to love an Irishman." I guess one thing my grandma forgot to tell me about was the irish temper and the pain that can follow an outburst) I hit a brick wall 3 times. And that brings us to my left hand. (Which is my predominate hand by far. I am left handed almost to a fault. My right hand is almost no use to me by itself.) I broke my pinky knuckle, the bone that connects your pinky to your wrist, and my wrist. See, I figured if I'm gonna break it, might as well do it right. Make it worth it. Well, I did. And now due to my own stupidity, I will have to undergo possible physical therapy to get my hand back to full use. For those of you who don't know, most of the gripping strength in your hand rests solely on your pinky and the muscle connected to your pinky. For you unbelievers out there, either find someone who is missing their pinky and ask them, or just try it. Grip something in your hand. Now, hold your pinky straight out and try to grip that same object just as tight... Ahhh haaaa. Now you see.

Ok, now its time to fill you in on this girl I'm talking to. First and foremost, to protect her privacy, she has no name, so don't ask unless you are one of my close friends and you can call me or shoot me an email and I will tell you more. It is safe to say that no one I know here in Az knows her. Well, except for you Mr. Phillips. And even then, you'd have to go so far back into your memory, I'm not sure that part is even accessible to you anymore. I know what you do. hehe. Among other things. Anyway, back to her. She is a beautiful full figured asian girl who lives far far away. So far away in fact, that I am moving across country so I can be closer to her. I know this may come as a surprise for some of you, but for others, you already know how I feel about Az and my complete and utter hatred for this place and most of its people. (Seriously, we should just give Arizona back to the Mexicans. It would be no loss to the U.S., I promise you.) (For my friends here, have no fear, I will be in contact before I go.) She is absolutely the most amazing woman I've ever met. The only girl to ever make me blush. She is my age (big difference from the youngsters I've dated here), she is extremely intelligent (again, big difference from the ignorant naivety I'm used to here), and now here is the kicker... SHE LOVES FOOTBALL!!!!! Not only does she like football, she has a favorite team, and even knows what's going on within her team. She drinks beer and watches football. (Let me take a second here and ask all of you guys out there...Isn't that one of the most perfect things you've ever heard?) Granted her team is an NFC team, but hey, she watches football. She also does something no other girl I have ever been with here can do. (keep your minds clean boys and girls). She can stay up past 10 o'clock. Now while to some of you that means nothing, (or might even be a good thing that your girl goes to bed early, not for me) to me that's huge. See, I'm one of those people that goes to bed between 1-2am even if I have to get up at 6am. I just don't require alot of sleep. Now granted, I'm not gettin any younger, and that may change, but I'd rather try to keep up with her, than to have to watch her sleep for 4 hours before I finally doze off. Oh yeah, did I mention she's asian? Did I mention my "yellow fever"? (No offense to any asians that might read this. The terminology is used in the utmost respect and love.) Ok, I'm sure you all have heard enough about her. If you want to know more, like I said, just email me or call me and I'll answer more thoroughly about her specifically.

This does move us to my last segment. I'm moving. Moving far far away from this hell-hole, its unbearable heat, the insistent sun, and all its ignorant, stupid, gang-banging thug wannabes. Now I will truly miss those very few friends who have been with me over the years, and regret that we couldn't have been closer friends to this end.
To my dear dear mental mentor... my Wanderer, my spiritual companion, the one person here who could understand my "elements", my dislike for the "unbalanced"... I will never forget the things you taught me about keeping balance in the universe (mine and the universe in general), I know that after you left (and came back) that the dynamic of our friendship changed, and I feel that is my fault. You are one of the few that will be contacted before I leave. Things will be set right before I go.

To my future lawyer, moving may actually bring us closer together. And I mean that locally. I will look you up when I get where I'm going. We'll have to go out and party. I don't engage in activities that we used to do, at least not on a regular basis, but at least we've got the memories of football and smoke, huh. lol. I miss you alot, my friend. You always brought a smile to my face when you graced us with your presence on Sunday's for football. or you coming over to watch movies that you bought but didn't have a system to watch them on. "You're crazy, I like you, but you're crazy." You know what I'm talking about, lol.

And to you, the one who was my best friend for almost my entire time here in this god-forsaken desert. I hope things go well for you and your son, he deserves to have a good life without all the religious bull-shit. I will deeply miss who you were before, and will cherish those memories forever. I really thought you and I would get out of here together, but it seems that life has dictated otherwise. You were a great friend until the end, and I wish things would've turned out different. And that is my final good bye to you.

One more, to my ex-wife... Just so you know, I know life's been hard and things aren't good between us, but good luck to you and your new family and all that you do. Unfortunately we still have to talk, the price of laying with you. But know that he (my handsome little man) is loved and one day we'll work it out.

Now everyone is caught up on what's been going on in my life, and what's to come. And just so as not to end this on a bad note...

To the most amazing, most wonderful woman in the world, you are my love, my angel, my beautiful asian girl. I have waited a lifetime to find you, and now that I have, this silly (kgh) monkey can't wait to have his arms around you and the taste of your lips on mine. I will never let you go. I'll be there soon, but not soon enough. I love you.

Thank you all for your patience and congratulations for having the longevity for making it this far through this post. Thank you all and good day.

P.S. A quick "Thank you" to my "lawyer" for reminding me that "burnt bridges can be rebuilt, but posted words last forever", and for being my voice of reason. And hence the abridged and revised version of this post.

Quick reprise from Saga...

2006-05-06T10:36:00.000-07:00

MY BOYS (THE DENVER BRONCOS) HAVE DRAFTED WHAT WILL BE ONE OF THE BEST FULLBACKS EVER TO GRACE A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL FIELD. THAT'S RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMAN... RASHON POWERS NEAL OF THE PRESTIGIOUS AND ALMIGHTY NOTRE DAME FIGHTING IRISH IS NOW IN DENVER. THAT'S RIGHT ALL MY GENTLE PEOPLE, THE TRUCK IS HERE. WE NOW HAVE A BEAST OF A BLOCKER TO HELP PROTECT JAY CUTLER (YOU HEARD ME I SAID IT. JAY CUTLER IS OUR FUTURE. GET THE SNAKE OUTTA THERE.) AND HELP BELL MAKE SOME ROOM. THIS WAS A FABULOUS PICKUP (SIGNED AS A UN-DRAFTED FREE AGENT), THAT WILL HELP TAKE THE BRONCOS TO THEIR 3RD SUPERBOWL THIS YEAR. GO BRONCOS!!!!!!

The Monkey Saga (part 1)

2006-05-05T00:45:00.000-07:00

So I know I'm a horrible blogger who ignores his poor lonely blog, so shut up. I don't want to hear it. Well I'll tell ya what, alot has changed since my last post. Let's see, where to start...

I got a new job. I now work for software company. For those techies out there, its not as fun as it sounds. We design POS software for retail cellular stores. (For those of you who aren't sales motivated POS means Point Of Sale not Piece Of Shit. Although some might argue that point about our software.) We also support and train the software for the merchants. (Of which only 10% are even remotely intelligent. {example: Merchant calls in and states, "My computer ain't working. There's an error on a transaction. We need it fixed right away, we are losing thousands of dollars! What happened?" (Ok, let me pause here for a second to remind you we are talking cell phones here people. One transaction, thousands of dollars does not make) So, my response, of course, is, "What's the error?" And he says, and get this, "Oh, I don't know, I'm in the car right now. One of my sales clerks called and said there was an error with your software." So after contemplating telling this merchant off for calling me with a stupid question and very non-descript problem, I calmly explain that if he gives me the number to the store, I'll call them and find out the issue and get them up and running again. So this ball-bag caffler then proceeds to tell me that the store is closed now. Its the end of the day and everybody has gone home. Ok, one thing to know about me... I hate stupid people. Hate them, hate them, hate them. I have no patience or tolerance for amadains (for those of you not fluent in irish slang means idiot). So anyway back to the story... The bastún (Gaelic for bastard) calls me, after hours, to tell me there was an error on one of his stores last transaction of the day, and somehow they wre losing thousands of dollars, even though they were closed. Its at this point where I'm doing everything I can to not tell this fecker (irish=fucker) to ask me arse.} Now for those of you serious customer service enthusiasts, please look away... During this whole conversation, which is a little longer than above, but you get the idea of the conversation, anyway... during this whole thing, I'm really trying to carry on an IM conversation with this really hot girl I'm talking to. Now this isn't just any chick either. (For those of you who know me, this part will make complete sense, for those of you who know me not so much, wait for future segment for further explanation.) This girl is asian, and are you ready for this, she loves to watch football. (Enough said.) So I really want to pay attention to her. I know I'm at work, and...? This merchant is a gom (irish=idiot) and doesn't deserve my attention. Do you know how hard it is to write something sweet and "romantical" (its my word shut up) when all you want to say is "Go mbeire an diabhal leis thú, plá ar do theach". (If you wanna know, you can find the 2 phrases translated here.) Ok, enthusiasts, you can look again now. Other than the customers, the job is awesome. There are only 20 people in the company total. Everyone is totally cool. The job is cake and the atmosphere is so chill that it makes it worth while. The pay isn't as good as it could be, but my co-workers are good folk and have been really cool in my current situation. (Again, read future posts for more detailed information on my current incapacitation.) So all in all, it was a good move. Ok, well its 345 in the morning and I have to be at work soon, so I should get some sleep. Please read the next few post to continue the saga... to be continued...

Myspace is a clogged as my lungs

2006-02-28T14:35:00.001-07:00

So, don't get me wrong, I love myspace. It has allowed me to connect and reconnect with a shitload of people and the format is pretty kewl. But damn if myspace isn't working as much as it is working. I know they have alot of traffic, and I'm sure "tom" is swamped with stuff to do, but come on... Hire somemore mother fuckers to work on keeping the servers running. I mean, myspace had the 2nd most traffic of all the websites. It has 59 million registered members. Fucking help Tom out, even God had angels to help him out. I hate it when you are trying to update your space and it tells you, the server is busy, or there was an error... I just wanted to post a stupid bulletin. What good is having a bulletin if you get stuck everytime you try to post. Anyway, this has been a public service announcement from your local Rambambling Monkey. If you have any questions please forward them to your closest water closet.

Mungled Monkey

2006-02-25T13:11:00.000-07:00

So, I'm sitting here at work, on a Saturday. My mind is completely some where else. Makes thing difficult. Its hard to concentrate on technical support when your thoughts are floating around some planet in space somewhere, some time. Serba said that the thoughts of a scattered mind should in no way reflect on how the person is feeling. Yet how can your emotions not be tied to the thoughts and wanderings that you keep you from this plane of reality. Sometimes, I think our physical selves are only here to keep our psychological selves in one place. To keep all the random thoughts, emotions, and dreams from exploding outward in a vast multitude of directions. Gives a new meaning to the word "bodybag". What if our bodies are just a giant "bag" created to keep control of our spirituality. We already know that energy cannot be created or destroyed, but there is nothing saying that it can't be contained and/or controlled. I think that is the "white light" people see when its over, its the light of freedom. Its the opening of your subconscious eyes to the world as it really is. I know that sounds like I'm quoting the Matrix, but I'm talking about the actual subconscious and spiritual self, not physical. The white light is what your subconscious eys see when they open. The light is actually the underlying energy stream that travels through and around all of us. Its bright because you are opening eyes that have been closed since your birth. I really wish the movie didn't make that analogy. But again, realize the movie was using the physical body, whereas I'm talking about the spiritual body. And Deja Vu... is not a "hiccup" in the program. Deja Vu is caused by the subconscious energy that flows through the universe. Energy makes up every thing, place and time. So if that is true, is it also not possible, that at times, your physical "bodybag" catches (for lack of a better word) a bit of energy that holds a memory that hasn't happened yet. It happens to everyone at any time, all the time. Some people are just more adapt to recognizing this. That would explain how some people can "predict" future events. Its not that these people are "special", its just they have realized what is happening, and have learned to take advantage. If only we could learn to control...

Call Center Callousness

2006-02-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

So all the VPs of my company decided to come in from Chicago today. Everybody has to dress up, be all clean shaven, all sober... WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

Why is it that everytime a "VP" comes into the office, all of a sudden we have to become all professional looking and shit... Ok, wait, let me rewind and give a quick background. I work in a call center, for a software company. I work with a bunch of techies. We see no one, sit behind a computer all day and night, most of us are all geeked out on Mountain Dew, most of us are so scruffy or shaggy we don't know what a razor is, much less how to use one. Our "VPs" are just techies who actually developed a working product. So why the hell, if our bosses are of the same social status, why do we have to be all professional, while they stroll up in here in shorts and flip-flops. Now I know, I get it, they're rich, they own the company...blah blah blah. If you were a shorts and flip-flops guy who owned his own software company, would you make the employees who support and improve your software (from behind the harsh fluorescent glare of a computer monitor, in a mirror windowed office where no sun can illuminate) {for those of you who don't know, techies are typically afraid of the sun or anything to do with the outside "natural" world} get all spruced up just because you decided to grace your own office with your presence? At least they went balls out and bought us some of those little deli sampler sandwiches that everybody loves so much (especially when the bread gets all soggy from sitting there, and the wonderful plethora of aromas that seem to waft from the food table hang over the call center floor like a toxic cloud.)

If you can't tell by now, I'm a little sarcastic. I guess my vision of what I think a call center should be like, and how it should run is skewed from what it is. That's why I'm gonna open my own one day. I've been working both inbound and outbound call centers, in a vast arena of products and services, for over 10 years now and have worked in multiple capacities. Everything from lowly rep to call center director, and I think its time to be the boss myself. So if anybody has any brilliant ideas that would require a support center, let me know. lol what a funny idea.

My 1st Post 2/22/06

2006-02-22T19:19:00.000-07:00

As everyone can see, this is the first time I've decided to put my thoughts down where everyone can see them. At first I didn't think I would ever need a blog, cuz why would I want to write all this stuff down when I can just pick up a phone and call whoever I want and talk. But then I realized that its kinda bothersome to pick up a phone every time I have something to say. So, for those people who have sensitive eyes and minds, this is probably the last posting of mine you should read. I have given fair warning, so if you come to me and say that you didn't like something I posted... well... let's just say that we'll consider this your parental control. I will tell you very mean things if you come to me later. (Like fling poop at you)

P.S. Ok, so that all sounds a little mean, just know that I'm a dirty, dirty monkey with a foul mouth and quick temper, so please excuse and forgive me for anything that I might say or write from this point on.